Although it may be hard to believe because I am now a huge advocate (and most of the time example) of living a balanced, peaceful life… at the ripe old age of 14, I was a stressed out, perfectionist overachiever. During my first semester of high school, I took honors classes, went to six dance classes a week, participated in four clubs, and cried almost every single day. In my desire to try to control everything in my life, I also strictly regulated my diet and exercise so although I was 5’ 5” my weight hovered at just over 100 pounds.
I was so on edge that I once broke down in tears during biology class after getting a test back with 100% at the top—I was out of control.
Thankfully, I had parents that were very loving and kind and understanding and prayed for me. They told me I had to take things out of my schedule and eat more—I protested, but they told me (in their infinite wisdom) these weren’t options.
Over the next three years, I began to be more healthy, but I still focused on productivity and achievement as my highest goal. I graduated as valedictorian of a high school class of 615 and went to Drake University on a full-tuition scholarship. I was well-liked and well-known in high school (voted “Most Likely to Succeed” and “Teacher’s Pet” of my graduating class ;o), but I didn’t have many deep relationships outside of my family and it wasn’t unusual for me to spend my weekends working on homework.
(I’m not telling you this to brag but just to explain my journey.)
In college, I once again excelled in my school work, studying magazine journalism, interior architecture, and business and graduating with a 4.0 in four years. But I also began learning about slowing down and choosing to not live a life of perpetual motion. I made choices to be in a limited number of activities so that I could have more time for rest and for the people in my life. And for the first time, I experienced really close friends. (On a spiritual side note, I grew in a greater understanding of what it means to trust God on a practical level.)
At this point, I wasn’t generally pushing myself at an insane pace, but I was very focused, very driven, and very ambitious to make it to the top of the corporate world. I had four internships during college and managed to get hired into a full-time position at a large publishing corporation during February of my senior year of college. The agreement was that I would start part-time as I was finishing up my studies and that I would go full-time after graduation.
Six weeks later, I was laid off. I was devastated. I cried. And I graduated without a job–exactly what I did not want to have happen.
To be continued in Part II: Laid Off Before College Graduation
© Elizabeth Grace Saunders 2009