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As a wife, mom of two darling little girls, and a business owner who is extremely passionate about and committed to my work as a time management coach, I practice what I preach about planning out my time to be as effective and efficient as possible. 

But lately, I’ve been trying to slow down a bit more and make sure I’m savoring the moments, especially with my young family. 

This shift was in part due to an email I recently received from a time management coaching client who I worked with nine years ago. 

It was a poignant reminder to not miss out on the good of the moment. 

With her permission, I’m sharing an anonymized version below….

“You are always such an inspiration, and I’ve been thinking of you and our past work often. I continue using the strategies I learned with you… I don’t remember the exact year we worked together, but it was about 10 years ago!

TIME – written large – has been at the center of my life over the last year and a half.

In May last year, my husband was diagnosed, out of the blue, with terminal cancer. At first I was told he had three months left. He fought really hard and bravely, and time expanded. He reacted so incredibly well to the therapy that we started believing, against reason, that he could make it. And even if he couldn’t, I kept saying that we wanted to get all the possible extra time – stolen time – that we could have with him and that my son, who was 11 when my husband was diagnosed, could have with his dad.

I took time off work as soon as he was diagnosed, because if he had a chance of either surviving or having a lot longer with us, it would have only happened if I was next to him all the time. And if he only had a few months left, I wanted to spend every possible moment with him. In March, my husband deteriorated sharply, and he died. When he realized he was about to pass away, his biggest sadness was for not seeing his son grow up, maybe get married, have children, and have a job.  

When he was diagnosed, the only regret I had was for the times when we did not fully enjoy life or each other because we were stressed or angry or upset about… I couldn’t even remember about what. The things that we allow to steal time – good time – from our life felt so ephemeral and insignificant. And at the same time, my husband and I really lived life to the full: we lived in different continents, we travelled, we had so many experiences, a wonderful child together… and that really helped accepting with no regrets that the end of our time together was coming.

When he was in hospital and about to die, a counsellor encouraged me to think hard about anything I really wanted to tell him before he passed, and I felt very fortunate because there was nothing. Nothing other than what I had told him already a million times and he knew already – how much I loved him and how lucky I had been to have him in my life.

I spent six more months at home before returning to work, which I did three weeks ago. Having this extra time together with my son made a world of difference to how we now feel, though the hard part is starting – the first few months felt surreal, the summer was nice, and now reality is hitting home, particularly for him, as he starts 8^th grade and as I have returned to work, and I am no longer around all the time.

Time is one of my most precious commodities right now. I am in a demanding job with enormous time pressures on my life.

One of the most important things I have to manage is arriving home early enough to not let work seep into my evenings and weekends and the little time I have with my son. I have to make sure I get enough sleep, and that I plan the week and the meals and everything in the most efficient way.

I have been thinking a lot – with gratitude – to the work we did together. About how time management is not just about techniques to get organized, but making space for what’s most important in our life.

I think often about how much I had regretted those times when work distracted me from my family, took time away from my son when he needed it, and I am determined not to do that again, as difficult as it will be.

I need to do a very difficult exercise over the next couple of months with my team to rationalize a portfolio that is currently too much – so that we can all manage without burning out and still feel good about the work we do. And I need to calibrate my life in such a way that allows me to maintain positive energies without becoming a snappy ball of stress. The number one priority is good time for me and for my son.

I went into a much longer ramble than I had intended… sorry. But I wanted to share my reflections about how the difficult time we have gone through really brought home the importance of spending time intentionally.

I now find myself thinking and telling people that we often fall into the trap of believing that we have a “credit” with life that we can cash “later.” That we work hard, and we will have “later” the time to enjoy the things we don’t find the time to enjoy now. And what a mistake that is. Not because we may die early, but because whether we die young or at 100, life is still short, and every moment is incredibly precious.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. If you’re struggling to be present to the good of the now, feel free to set up a time to connect with me here: Consultation Schedule

About Real Life E

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is a time management coach and best-selling author who empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished. She helps people struggling with new levels of responsibility after receiving a promotion or becoming a parent, who aren’t meeting expectations at work, or who need better work-life balance to overcome burnout.

Elizabeth was named one of the World’s Top 30 Time Management Professionals by Global Gurus every year since 2018 and is a member of Forbes Coaches Council. McGraw Hill published her first book The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment: How to Achieve More Success with Less Stress. Harvard Business Review published her second book How to Invest Your Time Like Money. And FaithWords published her third book Divine Time Management. Elizabeth regularly writes time management articles for Harvard Business Review and Fast Company and has appeared on CBS, ABC, NBC, and Fox.