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“Super charged” is the best way to describe my learning over the last few months as I’ve been stretching both personally and professionally. One of the interesting things about outward growth is that it requires internal growth to manage all the new emotions that come up at the next level.

Here are three truths that I’ve discovered recently that I thought may also add value to your life.

Truth #1: There’s No Train

On Sunday evening, I had a dream that I was frantically trying to catch a train. Getting ready quickly, throwing everything into my luggage, walking to the train station, and trying to find the platform. The entire process was full of adrenaline with this driving sense that “I need to make the train on time,” “I need to make the train on time.”

Well, I missed it.

Given that I’m a tenacious person (even while sleeping!), without waking up, my brain determined that was an unacceptable outcome for a dream so I needed a do-over. I proceeded to re-dream about trying to catch a train, only to not make it again.

Then I woke up… exhausted.

I’m not an expert in dreams so I didn’t immediately know what this meant. But I did take some time to contemplate what my dream was telling me because I realized something significant was going on under the surface. What I realized is that I’ve been living life as if it was like catching a train–where you need to move quickly and stay focused or you’ll get left behind.

Then I realized the more important truth: There’s no train.

I could never make the train in my dream because it didn’t exist. It was a figment of my imagination. Instead what is true and real and should be my focus is the beautiful life all around me. I found this realization incredibly freeing and it opened up my capacity to deeply rest.

Truth #2: Activities Have a Shelf Life 

There are a few things in life that should never expire such as proper self care, time with friends and family, and the interests you deeply enjoy. But I’m coming to find that most other items on your calendar have a shelf life. That means activities, groups, committees, and boards that once gave you life and joy can become stale.

When they become stale, they’re very unpleasant. Instead of looking forward to them, you secretly (or maybe not so secretly) hope that they’ll get canceled or you could find a way not to attend. You’ll notice a general agitation whenever you need to go to events or are asked to do something in relation to the now outdated activity.

The truth is that if you really don’t want to do something and it’s not one of your core life priorities, you probably shouldn’t.

Although it can feel awkward to quit things that have been part of your life for quite a long time, it’s good if it frees you to do the things that are right for you now. Yes, you may at first feel guilty or disloyal to the other people in the activity. But in the end, you’ll end up so much happier because you’re being true to yourself and your priorities.

Truth #3: Insecurity Can’t Be Cured By Performance

Finally, I’ve realized that anytime that you feel insecure, the answer is not to do more or do better. Instead the answer is to focus on unconditional love and acceptance of yourself. 99% of the time that you feel insecure, the issue is within you not outside of you. You don’t need to prove your worth but instead accept it.

 

About Real Life E

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished. She is an expert on achieving more success with less stress. Real Life E® also encourages Christians to align themselves with God’s heart through Divine Time Management.

McGraw Hill published her first book The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment: How to Achieve More Success with Less Stress. Harvard Business Review published her second book How to Invest Your Time Like Money. Elizabeth contributes to blogs like Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Fast Company and has appeared on CBS, ABC, NBC, and Fox.