Last Thursday, I sat at a coffee shop in Des Moines, Iowa, across from Kelly Moore, a PR consultant and freelance writer.
, who also juggles kiddos and a husband. (In my opinion, this is just as hard as juggling flaming torches.) She described to me how she recently got home late from a meeting, paid the babysitter, folded some laundry, and then sat down on the coach–for 30 seconds.
Yep, in less than a minute she felt totally guilty that she was taking time for herself, even though the children were nestled in bed, her husband wasn’t home yet, and all of the day’s work was done. Her situation lead to this Q&A:
Q: I am someone who thrives on being productive, but lately I’ve been feeling burnt-out. How can I take time to rejuvenate myself without feeling restless or guilty?
A: I can completely understand this situation! As a classic achiever, I’ve struggled with perceiving rest as a dreadful chore. When I slowed down, all I could think about was everything I “should” be doing. Part of this dilemma is about changing your mindset. (In Thursday’s post, I’ll talk about being a human being versus a human doing.) But the other part is all about making the most of your strengths.
In Strengthsfinder 2.0, it defines the “Achiever” strength in this way:
“People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work
hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.”
This is a fantastic quality, but can cause problems when you start shaking when you take a moment to sit still.
One strategy that helps me calm down without freaking out is making a “life to do” list. This means I write down activities that rejuvenate me, like taking a walk, spending time with friends, praying, or traveling, and I cross them off as I achieve them. I can make a relaxing Saturday feel ultraproductive when I complete everything on my list.
If you’re feeling burnt-out, I really encourage you to take time to make a to-do list for yourself that includes everything that makes you happy! Then schedule in time every day, week, or month, to complete these “tasks” that fill you up.
As Mel Robbins describes in her podcast “Create Your Ideal Week Using LEGOs,” there are a minimum number of things you need in life to be the best business owner, employee, parent, spouse, and person you can be. By putting those in first, you’ll have the energy and passion to approach the rest of life with gusto!
Be brilliant today!
Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth,
By your definition, I’m juggling flaming torches. With our beautiful Baby Halle on a 2-hour sleep schedule and other stuff coming up, I definitely have less free time than I have had in a long-time. One funny thing is that I feel more excited, energized, and pumped up with work and life than I ever have. Because I NEED to be more focused, I’m producing better results in shorter amounts of time. These results and personal growth have really fired me up.
I like how you focus on how to make the most outside of work. It would also be interesting to have a discussion about the potential for work to not be work – for it be rejuvenating and playful. In the end, aren’t work and play just arbritrary distinctions that were made before we were born. A lot of the stress that people feel related to work is completely self-inflicted.
Just some thoughts. I love your blog, and the balance you’ve created in your life is inspiring for all of us Achievers.
Thanks for your comments Michael! So glad you’re fired up!
You’re absolutely right that when you NEED to be more focused you accomplish more in less time. That’s one of the key elements of my time strategies philosophy–deciding what needs to be included in your life and then limiting how much time you will spend on each element. That way you can truly “Have It All” and “Make Strategies, Not Sacrifices.”
Also, good point about the “work not having to be work.” We’re both people who are extremely fortunate to enjoy what we do. (Michael is one of the awesome co-founders of The Extreme Entrepreneurship Tour http://www.extremetour.org) It’s a lot easier to spend extra hours doing something you love and where you feel you make a difference than doing something that sucks the life out of you.
I believe that work/life balance can look different for each person. The important point is that how you use your time is aligned with your priorities:
“How you spend your time says a lot more about what you really value than anything you might say is important to you”–from “Love & Survival” by Dean Ornish, M.D.
And that you’re creating a lifestyle that allows you to be filled up physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually on a regular basis. I’ve found that even people who say they wouldn’t mind working 24/7 start to feel stressed out/burned out/empty when they’re putting in too many hours on the job at the cost of sleep, exercise, family time, hobbies, friends, etc.
I appreciate your feedback Michael!
To a life of brilliance!